


Coming up for air

by the_winterfloof_17



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Clint Barton, BAMF Tony Stark, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Hurt Tony Stark, Hydra Tony Stark, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, M/M, Minor Wanda Maximoff/Vision, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Russian Bucky Barnes, Slightly not Team Cap friendly, Stephen Strange is a Good Bro, Steve Rogers Feels, Telepathic Wanda Maximoff, Thanos Dies (Marvel), Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Winter Soldier Tony Stark, russian tony stark
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:34:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26188795
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_winterfloof_17/pseuds/the_winterfloof_17
Summary: What if after Siberia, Hydra got its' hands on Tony Stark after Captain America left him? He becomes the new Winter Soldier for Hydra before infinity war comes. When it comes, without knowing it, the Asset is drawn to protecting those he loved during the infinity war.Post Infinity war, he now has two super soldiers who are helping him recover and Tony finally remembers who he is again.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 4
Kudos: 97





	1. New Mission

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to write a Hydra Tony Stark story for a while and just didn't have any idea on how I should. Got this idea after rewriting the first chapter again. It was better than the original one. 
> 
> Please note: this story has nothing to do with my other stories or series. This story is its' own thing. Enjoy.
> 
> Also, this story is in honor of the actor, Chadwick Boseman, who died recently, his acting as Black Panther was amazing, and he will be missed.

The last thing that Tony could remember after being hit by Rogers, was hearing Russian being spoken in the distance. He could care less at this point for caring, just look back on the previous events of what just happened. That will explain everything for you, and Rhodey would probably scold him for it and Pepper would too. But Tony was so done, he was done believing that he was the hero, or that any of the Avengers were heroes. It was obvious none of them could be trusted, and yet Tony had considered them to be family for a while, the family he never had. Howard probably was laughing in his grave right now, _you silly boy, did you really think it was all real?_

If he was dying, Tony was actually ok with it because he deserved it right? He went too far by touching the best friends topic and now here he was, laying in a cold, abandoned bunker with no one except those Russian guys. Tony did speak many languages so he was only understanding bits of what they were saying, they were speaking so fast that Tony thought they were speaking gibberish. Now he was starting to understand how Pepper, Rhodey, and the rest of the team felt when Bruce and him were talking all about science. “Another language,” Clint once put it, Natasha and Rogers agreeing when he mentioned it. 

When Tony woke up, he was very confused, at first he thought he was in a hospital but then, not so much. He was lying on a cold concrete, an old mattress on the floor with a worn-out pillow, which was incredibly uncomfortable at the moment for him. He winced as he got up, noticing the bandages wrapped around his ribs and sternum. Unwrapping the bandages, Tony looked down, horrified by what he saw, the arc reactor was back in. It was in the shape of a triangle, and it was still blue thankfully, but there was no reason for it to be there. Unless Rogers really did break his sternum enough to need the arc reactor back in but still. He took in his surroundings, realizing that he was in the room alone, no windows, no holes, nada, just a heavy steel door. There was a little slot for food perhaps, but that was it, and now Tony was definitely confused. 

If he was rescued, Tony would’ve been in a hospital room right now, Pepper or Rhodey by his side, although for Rhodey, it’s unlikely at the moment since he is paralyzed now. Thanks to him, of course, ‘cause Rhodey loved him enough to support whatever Tony did. Anyway, he _should_ be in a hospital right now, not in a room with nothing but bandages wrapped around him. The heavy door creaked open in time to see who his captors were, showing only two guards who pulled him to his feet and dragged him into a wheelchair. Tony opened his mouth to protest only to be muzzled, leather straps tightened on the arms of the wheelchair. He tried protesting the entire time, not caring if he got glares from the two guards while they wheeled him into the hallway. Everywhere Tony looked, it reminded him of a mental institution except there weren’t any people around. 

The walls were white and holes through some of them, and all of it made Tony more unsettled as they wheeled him into a room where scientists were scurrying around in white lab coats. They loosened the straps, pulling him and setting him down in a chair similar to a dentist’s, they didn’t take off the muzzle either which made Tony protest even more. “Mr. Stark, it would be appreciated if you didn’t move too much, this might hurt a bit.” There was a man holding a syringe with blue liquid in it, turning around while smiling at Tony in a creepy sort of way. Two other doctors pushed a tv over to reveal Zola’s face showing on the old tv.  
“Mister. Stark, it is a pleasure to finally meet you. Hydra has waited long enough for this moment since your father died.” 

The tv turned off on its own, while another doctor moved to insert the syringe into Tony’s arm, he tried to scream or shout at least, failing terribly. The serum went in, following a sedative for him to sleep through, which Tony tried desperately to fight against but it was too late.

…

When Tony opened his eyes again, he felt somewhat faster, stronger, and he didn’t feel middle-aged like before. There were no achy muscles when he got off the mattress, no muzzle either to stop him from talking. His voice though, it was gone, completely gone, and Tony didn’t know what to do about it, except find liquids to help. It felt like someone had tried to rip his vocal chords out or something, leaving him a hoarse voice or no voice at all. He tried saying a few words, but they only came out broken, weak, and Tony didn’t like it one bit.

“Mr. Stark! I am so glad you are awake,” the german voice of Zola rang through Tony’s ears, but he was too shocked to see the scientist’s face at all. He tried saying, ‘you are supposed to be dead,’ but nothing came out, so Tony only pointed his finger at the screen accusingly. Zola only looked at him, possibly showing pity but it was hard to tell, “what we have done to you will enhance you. You will be the new fist of Hydra. You will become the Winter Soldier, the Asset.” 

Tony gasped, trying to form words, but couldn’t, forgetting that he didn’t even check what they had done to him. He turned in time to see his right arm, _right arm_ metal, completely metal and functioning. The arm was better than Barnes’, clearly Hydra had upgraded on the technology, Tony was able to still feel things. He could still feel everything but the searing pain in the rest of his body felt uneven. There was scar tissue where his clavicle met the rest of the metal arm, still healing and bruised. He got up, trying to stretch while looking around, it was only him and Zola, the tv at the moment, and boy, did Tony want to just take a cat nap. 

“Mister. Stark, once you have healed, we will begin to do what we always planned with Sergeant Barnes.” Tony tried responding but forgot he had no voice at the moment, and he wondered if that had to do with the dead man before him. “You will be the new fist of Hydra, a new Asset that will comply easily, you will get rid of anyone that _doesn’t_ comply.” Tony swallowed at those words, hating the way Zola was saying them, actually everything he was saying, Tony hated. 

He ignored the rest of the monologue that Zola was saying, while guards came in, dragging him once again to his feet. They brought back in the wheelchair and muzzle, and Tony didn’t even try to protest then. Someone pushed the tv alongside Tony, which made him more annoyed by the second hearing Zola talk as they walked further into the hallway, down to another room. They dragged him into the chair once again, muzzling him and moving away. There were white lab coats passing by him back and forth while Tony didn’t pay attention at all, he really just wanted to go home. Everything was going fine until someone strapped him in, pressing a guard into his mouth to bite on while Tony heard buttons being pressed. Before he could do anything, there was something pressing against his head, electrocuting him over and over again. 

Everybody in that room ignored the silent screams coming from the man, as if nothing terrible was happening. While Tony grunted, panting heavily from the machine electrocuting him again and again, he was starting to have a new appreciation for Barnes now. They were trying to make him forget but Tony wasn’t that easy a person, he would never forget, even if he wanted to. So that’s exactly what Tony did, not forget, fight back, even if he couldn’t speak at the moment. No, Tony wouldn’t forget, he never would. That was the curse he had to live with forever. 

…

Everytime they dragged him towards the chair, asking him who he was, Tony loved the way it got them all bent out of shape. He wouldn’t be their Asset, and if or when he did become that, Tony would make sure he didn’t forget. But that was becoming the problem now, everything Tony once remembered became less and less. The memories he had with Rhodey or Pepper, or the Avengers, he would forget, it was like they were aiming to take away any happy memories. The only memories that were left were the ugly, bad ones, the ones Tony wished he could forget. 

He was tortured numerous times, sometimes just for fun or boredom, they would cut him open, no anesthesia to stop the pain. Tony would watch himself be cut open, a scalpel moving from point A to point B. He was disgusted even more when it healed quickly, sewing itself up, leaving no scars behind. He also hated when they burned him, it would be patches of skin, near his head or throat. Tony could only watch tied down while they did it, doctors watching with amazement while jotting down notes on what was happening. All of it made Tony want to throw up, and sometimes he did just to annoy them. 

Today was different though, there was no chair this time, instead a large pool, _full of water_ which made his breath hitch. He tried to swallow down the fear, the anxiety even as the guards pushed him towards it. There was nothing helping Tony’s fear of being near water, only the smirks and whispers as they tied his hands together. 

“The problem here, Mister. Stark, is that you have fear inside you. Eating away, the only way to get rid of that fear; is to face it. The Winter Soldier can have no weakness, the Asset can not be weak for Hydra.” Zola’s words were only an echo as they shoved his face into the water, he tried squirming away from it, only for the guards to push him deeper. His body was trying to move, move from the water that was starting to fill his lungs, trying to get away from it. 

_Tony! Tony!  
Are you alright? Rhodey looked at him with concern, a hand on his back, patting him gently. _

_Hey! Easy there Tony! Don’t eat too much shawarma. Bruce looked at him, smiling before going back to eating his own shawarma._

_Did you know? Eyes turned to Steve, the anger stirring inside him after seeing the video. I didn’t know it was him._

_Don’t bullshit me, Rogers. Did you know? Yes._

Tony gasped, choking up water as the guards pulled him back, memories coming back as he was in the water. He hated it, hated it so much, all those memories, good and bad, it made him want to hide. He also didn’t want to forget those memories, didn’t want to forget the touching moments he had before everything came crashing down. They pushed him back in, and in that moment, Tony accepted it for what it was. 

….

The Asset had memories, memories that came up before he was put in the chair. He never spoke of it after asking one of his handlers once. He was immediately put in the chair, mind wiped by just a few words. Sometimes, in the back of his head, there was a voice telling him to fight it, _don’t let them win_ , but he always let them. The Asset was trapped in something he couldn’t get out of, and so, when the time came, he would escape. 

Escape from everything that they did to him, because that voice was telling him to getaway, run away. But at the same time, there was nowhere to go, and the Asset only knew one thing. He knew how to kill, get out as quickly as possible, be discreet. That’s what his training was for, to be discreet and quiet, kill, and turn the other way. 

When he was in the chair, he was cuffed, given a guard to bite down on, and they all ignored the pain. His back arched off of the seat itself, pain running through his body, electroshocks waving through him. He felt like he was wearing a crown, a crown of electricity that sent pain through him. The pain searing right into that voice in the back of his head, making it disappear entirely, there was nothing he could do to stop it.

 _Inzhener_

_Zhelezo_

_Umnyy_

_Poslushaniye_ The Asset screamed, his head aching painfully, his hands gripping the sides tightly, almost breaking it. 

_Sibir’_

_May_

_Dvadtsat' devyat'_ The screams were gone now, just his limp body slumping forward as he was dragged to his feet. 

“Soldat,” the words alert the Asset that he is not alone, that one of his handlers is making sure that he is the Asset, _their_ Asset. The Asset promised to himself, no matter what happened, whoever he killed, he would make sure to remember all of it. 

**Two Years Later**

The Asset was released, released to find stones, stones that were powerful enough to destroy Hydra’s enemies. But the Asset knew that this was the time, time to put his plan to work. Which is exactly what he did, once he was released, he slunk into the shadows, the guards panicking when they couldn’t find him. The second that the guards were gone, the Asset went back into the room with the chair, lurking quietly as the doctors and scientist were working. One by one, the Asset snuck up behind them, shooting them in the head, muffling their sounds of screaming. They did not deserve to scream or make a sound, they didn’t deserve anything for what they did to the Asset. In the back of his mind, there was the voice again, laughing and silently agreeing with him. 

When there were only bodies left, scattered on the ground, the Asset continued his way out, killing anyone who was in his path quietly. He heard his handlers cry out in agony but the Asset ignored them, walking until he was outside again. The Asset could not remember the last time he was outside and appreciated the moment of fresh air. He knew he was somewhere in a place called Scotland, his handlers only giving him a bit of information. 

He was hiding in the shadows, observing people as he went, until it was nightfall where the Asset finally came out. There were two people walking together, a girl with reddish hair and a man taller than her, his voice sounding familiar to the Asset in an unusual way. He watched from a building, his hearing helping a lot in the matter as all he could hear was laughter and small talk. Everything was fine until a creature appeared, stabbing the man through his chest, revealing his true form. It looked to the Asset that he was some sort of advance synthezoid, very human.He jumped from the building in time, slowly coming towards the three, pulling his knife out, preparing for what was to come. _This would be his new mission_ , these people must be of some importance to a higher establishment and so, the Asset would protect them. 

The Asset followed the fight until they were at a train station, the two creatures coming closer and closer to the couple. He was ready, about to attack when something else came, another person. This man also looked familiar, he had blonde hair, blue eyes, he was--- _Steve Rogers_. Hydra had tried to send the Asset out to kill the man, but the Asset refused which earned him a punishment in the chair. He watched from afar as another woman came alongside the captain, fighting and hurting one of the creatures. The Asset wondered where the creatures had come from and he was given an answer when they floated up into a ship of some sort. 

From there, the captain and his team of sorts filed onto a ship and took off in another direction. The Asset wanted to know where they were going but it was difficult. He had nothing in him except for _the internet_ as one of his handlers described it once. A day later the Asset got his answer, apparently a satellite had been alerted of a presence entering the atmosphere, appearing in a country called Wakanda. The Asset changed into civilian clothes and put his weapons into a duffel bag, sneaking onto a plane to the country. 

An entire day later, the Asset was in Wakanda, on the outskirts in fields of rhinos and elephants. He didn’t understand how he ended up in those fields but the voice in his head was saying to find a way in. Starting at the fields, the Asset observed the people of Wakanda, learning about their culture, what they did, and how they did everything with some limited resources. The Asset had his gear on at all times, slinking into the shadows, and observing whoever or whatever came by. It wasn’t until two days later that a jet came in, an advanced technological one which caught the Asset’s interest. 

At the time, the Asset was on the border of Wakanda, where the capital was. He didn’t realize he was close to the actual city until the jet was flying into the trees. Yet they weren’t trees, it was a hologram of some sort, but the Asset didn’t understand, not really. The voice in his head was telling him though that he did, he should understand it, and it fascinated the Asset. Being careful of not setting any security alerts, the moment the holograms were gone, the Asset followed the jet in. 

Behind the trees, showed a great city, the capital of Wakanda. The Asset noted that it was completely different from the outside world. He remembered his handlers once talking about but they were quick to dismiss any theories on it. The Asset walked around, noticing the technology was the same as the captain’s shield, Vibranium. It was known as the rarest metal on earth, the Asset remembered being sent on missions to retrieve it in deals by Hydra. Once in the heart of the city, the Asset heard rumbling, noises coming from the west and south side of the borders. 

He looked up in time to see explosions being stopped by the shields, exploding outside. The Asset adjusted his mask and ran towards the palace, hiding in the shadows as he went. He was able to hear shouts being chanted and followed it, coming to a stop from inside the palace to see armies. 

“What are you doing here?” The Asset whirled around in time to see a girl, with the synthezoid laying in a table. She was doing something to his forehead at the moment which is why the Asset was confused. He cocked his head to the side, looking at her curiously.

“What is your name?” 

“The Asset does not have a name. It is only the Asset.” The Asset didn’t realize he said it in Russian, which was the reason why the girl only looked at him confused. She was about to say more when the same creature appeared to be back, not thinking twice, the Asset moved to protect her and the synthezoid. The creature came closer, weapon at the ready, while the Asset just knew… he would enjoy this. The creature moved swiftly, fast, quick, but not as quick as the Asset. The Asset punched him hard enough to knock the creature out, punching through his chest and grabbing his heart. 

The bloodlust that the Asset had, the revenge for what his handlers did to him was now coming back. Pulling out his metal hand, the Asset only nodded to the girl and the synthezoid before disappearing out of sight. He made sure his mask was on, not caring if there was dark black blood dripping from his hand. The Asset ran out of the palace, onto the battlefield and began fighting among the kingdom’s soldiers. There were creatures being let out from four ships up ahead and the Asset wanted to destroy them all, but it wouldn’t be easy. 

He continued fighting, moving closer and closer to the front lines, not recognizing any of the people around him. The Asset saw the synthezoid fighting alongside the red-haired woman, a few more joining them. The closer that he got, the more he could see the people fighting against more creatures but they were being overwhelmed. Running faster than humanly possible, the Asset ran towards the captain and his team, slicing his way through them. Blood splattered onto his gear, his boots getting covered in blood and mud. 

The Asset saw something appear out of thin air suddenly, a tall purple man appearing. He observed the way the man walked, holding a gauntlet with stones, _the infinity stones_ , the voice said to him quietly. He watched as the man came closer, ready to grab the synthezoid’s head and pull the stone out of his head. There was a feeling in the Asset telling him that he had to save the man, before he died. With those feelings, the Asset ran as fast as he could, towards the purple man with the gauntlet. 

Grabbing his sharpest knife from his holster, the Asset ran, breathing heavily as he ran past others. He didn’t realize he was being watched intently by everyone he was passing. 

…

Steve knew that the time would come that there would be a bigger threat than anything else. He just wished sometimes that Tony was with him. Tony would know what to do, what to say, what to think. Every time he thought of him, his heart just broke further and further. He wanted to slap his past self for what he did, but at the time, he thought he was right. But that’s what got him here now, he had Bucky and he loved Bucky but there was no Tony. Tony was gone or so everyone said but there were times where Steve still went searching, the only person that helped him was Bucky. 

They both equally shared the guilt of leaving Tony behind and prayed that if he was dead, he didn’t suffer. But that was too much to ask right? Considering he was the one who’s shield was placed in Tony’s suit. In the moment, he thought that was the only way to stop the suit, but Steve wasn’t thinking. Plus, Tony had every right to want to kill Bucky for what he did, Bucky even insisted when they were in Wakanda. After everything with the Accords, they were pardoned and came home, learning of the disappearance of Tony Stark. Everyday, Steve still can’t forgive himself, can’t even look in the mirror without thinking back to those moments. 

When they arrived in Wakanda, T’Challa was alerted there was another thing, a person, that entered alongside the quinjet. They couldn’t identify the person but Steve wondered what it was, how could someone get past them without being noticed? They didn’t have enough time to worry about it before the ships came while figuring out a way to get the stone out of Vision’s forehead. They had all agreed that once the stone was out, it would be destroyed immediately so Thanos wouldn’t get his hands on it. What they didn’t expect was during battle, Shuri alerted them of a person coming through the palace. He was unidentifiable because of the mask he was wearing, but he did kill an alien for Shuri. Shuri warned them that he would probably show on the battlefield soon. 

She didn’t warn them of the man being incredibly fast, swift, and quiet in his moves. They were lethal and reminded Steve of Bucky when he was under Hydra’s control. There came a point when he was struggling himself with the creatures Thanos’ army released, and he wasn’t the only one. The person, man, quickly sliced them, before running away out of Steve’s sight. 

“Someone get a visual on the person!” He panted out, getting up and attacking more of the alien creatures. The comms made a static noise before Bucky came on, “Steve, everything about him screams Hydra.”

“I know Buck. Can anyone identify him?”

“No but he’s headed straight for Thanos, Thanos just appeared.” 

…

The Asset ran towards the purple man, the only thing on his mind was _kill, kill, kill_. He was quick, faster than the purple man to do anything, stabbing him right in the abdomen, doing it three more times. The taller man looked down at the Asset, smirking before turning his hand at the Asset, he noted the stones in the gauntlet the purple man was wearing. He almost had all of them and the Asset did not like that one bit. The fight was brutal, following what the Asset did, the purple man was strong, boasting it as he fought the Asset. But the Asset was getting bored of this, he hated hearing others boast about their strengths and weaknesses, usually saying they didn’t have any at all. 

So what did the Asset do? He punched the purple man so hard in the jaw, it knocked him right off his feet. He did not come here to hear about strengths, power, greed, he came here to protect those he couldn’t. That included the captain and his team, for they didn’t deserve this to happen to them. The voice in his head was saying they did but he disagreed, something did happen, and sadly, the Asset couldn’t remember it. He also knew that there was a part of him that didn’t want it to be remembered but he knew it would come to him in time. Meanwhile, the purple man had stood up again only for another man to come flying at him, an axe with bolts of electricity coming from itself. 

The Asset internally cringed though, it seems the man was slightly off, hitting the chest instead of the head. The purple man even said it himself, and while that was happening, the Asset decided to take charge. Grabbing his sharpest knife out, without thinking, sliced cleanly through the hand with the gauntlet, causing the purple man to scream in agony. Red blood splattered onto the Asset’s face, making him want to gag while the other man with the axe looked at him. Before any words could be said, the purple man punched the Asset in the face, sending him flying across the field while the purple man followed him. 

The Asset got up quickly, not forgetting his training at all, and ran towards the purple man again, one of his knives pointed in his direction. Without his right hand, the purple man was unbalanced and the Asset took advantage of it, pushing the knife right into his chest. Deep enough that the knife poked out the otherside. He watched as the purple man collapsed to his knees, groaning as the Asset pushed the knife in deeper, knowing he hit the heart. The purple man collapsed completely when the Asset pulled his knife out all the way, bringing a beating heart with him. He could hear gasps around him, but the Asset was only paying attention to one thing, _the stones_. 

A portal opened though, revealing a group of strange people with a man floating in the air with robes. The man approached the Asset cautiously, while the Asset just cocked his head to the side. The man held out his hand, gesturing to the gauntlet the Asset held. 

“You can trust me. The stones will go back to their original places.” The Asset nodded quietly before handing it over to the strange man. The Asset collapsed to his knees, feeling exhausted and tired while people came running towards him. 

“Tony?” The Asset looked up at who said it, which pointed to the captain, kneeling in front of him cautiously. He realized he wasn’t wearing the mask, but there was a question, _who is Tony?_

“Who the hell is Tony?”


	2. Remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a bittersweet chapter and some fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgot to add the translations of Tony's trigger words in Russian, here they are.
> 
> Inzhener - Engineer  
> Zhelezo - Iron  
> Umnyy - Smart/intelligent  
> Poslushaniye - Obedience  
> Sibir’ - Siberia  
> May - May  
> Dvadtsat' devyat' - Twenty-nine
> 
> Soldat - Soldier

The Asset is quickly shuffled into the palace again, put in a room to be watched and observed as he sat on his heels, knees open with his head bowed. They took his weapons away, but clearly missed the two knives under his gear. He knows now that he has been here for hours on end, waiting and waiting for something to happen. But the Asset doesn’t know what to expect, perhaps these will be his new handlers, they will treat him better. With his improved hearing, he can hear murmuring going outside of the room, behind the glass, and he can’t tell if it’s good or bad. The voice in his head is saying it’s fine, that everything will be fine, maybe not good, but fine enough. 

The Asset is kneeled with his head bowed when the flashback comes, the searing pain in his head happening quickly.

_No please! Please don’t do this! I am begging you!_

_Ya proshu proshcheniya… The woman grabbed onto his arm, pulling him towards her. She spat in his face before letting him go. He looked back to the woman hovering over her dead husband, screaming and sobbing at the same time._  


The Asset didn’t realize he was screaming until there was a person next to him, a comforting hand on his shoulder. He didn’t want the comfort, it was dangerous when there were others around when he remembered. The Asset didn’t want to hurt anyone but when memories resurfaced, the first thing he did was grab the man by the neck, hand gripping tightly on his throat. 

“T-Tony, hey, look at me.” The man rasped out, his hand struggling to get the Asset to look at him. He did, looking at him, it was a dark-skinned man looking back at him, his eyes pleading towards the Asset. The Asset realized the man was paralyzed from the waist down, regretting what he just did by putting the man back in the wheelchair. He collapsed to his knees again, head bowed like before, his voice was starting to disappear like always. What they did was confusing to the Asset, back then when they were trying to break him, his voice was lost. With or without the mask, the Asset was trained to never speak unless spoken to first. Even if he did try to talk, it would almost come out as a whisper, like he was a person with a ghost of a voice inside him. 

“Tony please? Look at me.” The Asset did as he was told, looking up at the man with nothing to say before looking back down at the floor. He heard the man wheel himself out the door before it was quiet again. The Asset didn’t know what to do, no one was telling him to say anything specific, and he didn’t like it, this freedom would come at a cost, wouldn’t it? That’s what Hydra had said to him, _Freedom is Life’s greatest Lie_. That was engraved in his head now, and the Asset wouldn’t ever forget what it meant. At the same time though, he disagreed, freedom was what he wanted everyday before and after he was taken by Hydra. 

Freedom wasn’t a lie, it was a gift, and the Asset wanted it so badly.

...

The Avengers watched behind the glass, the man that once took care of them everyday by making weapons, gadgets, everything for them. The man that would stay up odd hours tinkering and inventing things. Natasha watched as the man she learned to care for was gone, replaced by the very thing Bucky once was. Internally, her heart was broken, but she wouldn’t let it show, whether it was Tony or _the Asset_ that killed Thanos, she was grateful. They all watched as Rhodey wheeled himself into the room, quietly watching Tony. Tony was in a position of submission in Natasha’s opinion, he was on his knees, head bowed in submission towards the mirror.  


The position broke when he clutched his head, mouth open yet no sound came out. He stopped silently screaming when Rhodey spoke up only to be grabbed by him, hand tightened around Rhodey’s neck. Pepper stood up, ready to bolt to the door had it not been Clint that stopped her from running in. Rhodey said something which made Tony meet his eyes before eyeing the wheelchair, dropping Rhodey into the wheelchair before going back to his original position. Once the door closed, Pepper ran towards her husband, checking him over along with his neck quickly while Rhodey tried reassuring her.

While the others gathered around Rhodey to hear what he had to say, Natasha quietly made her way to the room, opening the door and closing it. She observed how Tony looked at war with himself, like he didn’t know what to do at the moment. She went to her hands and knees, slowly crawling towards the man until she was in front of him. He met her eyes quietly, and Natasha saw all that she needed to, sadness, brokenness, and fear. 

“Ya ikh pomnyu, ya pomnyu ikh vsekh.” He looked at her pleadingly, but that wasn’t what shocked Natasha. It was his voice, his voice was almost a whisper, so quiet and broken. She almost didn’t hear him at all but she did, and Natasha gently put a hand on his cheek. Tony looked at her, his eyes showing true tears ready to fall, she wiped them away gently before whispering, “Vy budete v poryadke.” After that, she laid against the wall while Tony moved to her lap, curling in around her while she sang an old russian lullaby to him. Natasha noticed how much younger-looking Tony had become, he looked to be in his early thirties again, or maybe twenties. Without the goatee, Tony looked much younger, much more innocent looking while he had probably seen and done things he never wanted to. 

Once asleep, Natasha quietly got up, trying not to disturb his sleep, and kissed his cheek lightly before leaving the room as quietly as she came. When she was outside, there were tears sliding down her face, while she walked in front of the mirror, looking at the sleeping man now. She leaned her head against the glass, the tears falling down faster and her hands formed into fists. Natasha wanted to scream, scream out her frustration to the world, because this man didn’t deserve what happened to him. She knew Rogers blamed himself every day since Siberia and so did Bucky, but this made her want to murder them both. Tony was and probably never would be the same man they had come to know. This new man was hurt, damaged, and broken all because they left him behind. 

She would do whatever she could to help him remember everything that once made him Tony Stark.

...

The Asset fell asleep once the woman, Black Widow, Natasha Romanov sang him a lullaby in Russian. It was peaceful until it wasn’t, and he knew that. Every time he fell asleep, he was back in Hydra. Back in their headquarters, sitting in the chair.

_Soldat! Report mission_

_The Asset sat on his knees, looking down at the ground until his hair was pulled, forcing him to look up._

_Report mission, Soldat!_

_He stayed quiet, refusing to talk until they pulled him to his feet. One of his handlers grabbed his face, forcing the Asset to look at them._

_Report mission, Asset._

_Missiya zavershena. There was a silence before they forced him into the chair again, forcing a guard into his mouth as he bit down when the pain came. His handlers ignored the screaming, and he didn’t know where it was coming from until he realized it was him. His voice became raw quickly though as the pain spread quickly._

_The Asset’s head hurt, the memory of his mission was starting to disappear as the Asset gave in to the pain finally. The voice in his head was saying something, something like don’t forget, don’t give in but the Asset had to._

_His legs were being forced to move and the Asset wanted to know if he was dreaming or someone was helping him walk. He knew they were going to put him in the cold again, freeze him until it was time to kill another one. The Asset could only do so much to stop it but alas, he couldn’t do anything to stop them, yet._

_They strapped him in, putting the mask on before closing the chamber door on him. The Asset could slowly start to feel the temperature drop until his skin was frozen. The Asset let out one single tear before closing his eyes, only his thoughts to keep him company._

He woke up in the corner, his metal arm aching to move as he stretched. He observed the room, only noticing there was a bed, a chair, and a sink with a mirror. The Asset made his way towards the sink, looking at himself in the mirror. He was still wearing his gear but the metal arm needed inspection soon. The Asset realized though, he did not have any mechanic here so he would have to do it himself. He loosened the straps of the gear, taking the vest off before leaving him in the black long sleeve jacket. He unzipped the jacket, wearing only a black T-shirt with dark-stained blood on it. He pulled the T-shirt off, revealing his black metal arm and the thing in his chest. 

He couldn’t remember what it was called, the handlers never said it around him. It was in the shape of a triangle, the blue light showing in the darkness of the room. The Asset looked over the arm, hearing the plates and wheels moving as he moved. The slender fingers of the arm touched his left hand, tracing the patterns of where his hand folded. He took one plate off, noticing the problem immediately, a wire was out of place and needed to be fixed. It was probably the reason why the Asset felt unbalanced when standing up. 

Moving quickly, the Asset’s fingers touched the wire gently, moving it until the wire was back in place. Once in place, he closed the plate of the arm and moved it around. He lightly traced the patterns of the arm, the black obsidian shining slightly by the thing. The Asset despised the scars that connected the arm to the rest of him, they spread from the arm to his neck almost. He washed away all the blood that covered his arm and chest, watching as it slowly drained away into the sink. He poured water over his hair, running a wet hand over his short hair, washing away the blood. The Asset walked over to the bed, pulling the two knives from under his gear. He played with them casually, feeling the curve of the blade and the tip of the blade. 

The door opened slowly, making the Asset look up curiously at who it was this time. There was a woman, she was tall and clearly had the confidence to say whatever she wanted. She had strawberry blonde hair in a ponytail while wearing a clean white blouse with a black pencil skirt. Something about the heels made the Asset a little afraid to look at her, but she seemed like a gentle being to him. She walked towards the Asset carefully, sitting in front of him on the bed, smiling gently at him.  


“Hello Tony, how ya been?” She looked at him gently and for once, the Asset wished his voice wasn’t so whispery, but he couldn’t do anything to fix what had happened. “Ya v poryadke.” The Asset was sure that the woman had to move closer in order to hear him, only smiling in return, she clearly didn’t hear him. 

“Do you know who I am?” The Asset frowned at the woman before shaking his head in response, he would not speak again. She only nodded before getting up again, closing the door quietly behind her. The Asset looked back at his knives, gripping them tightly before hiding them underneath his gear. He realized that he did not hide them before, but that the new people would see them and take them away.

...

The Avengers all watched as Pepper went into the room, watching intently on how Tony interacted with her. He seemed closed off even more when she asked him a question, his voice so quiet, it was like a ghost was talking. Steve fidgeted with his hands, not even paying attention to what was happening. He couldn’t, didn’t have the energy to see what had happened to the man he once called a friend and now lost because of _him_. Steve knew blaming himself wouldn’t do anyone any good but he was blaming himself because he never wanted or intended for this to happen. Tony also had a metal arm now, more improved than Bucky’s arm but the scarring where his shoulder met metal looked painful. Plus, the arc reactor was back in, in the shape of a triangle and glowing proudly.

Tony looked younger now, like he was in his twenties again, and since the goatee wasn’t there, he looked more young, innocent too. Shuri had gotten a sample of Tony’s blood before they put him in the room, stating that Hydra must’ve used the same serum that was given to Bucky and Steve. But the qualities of the serum were improved, faster healing factor, strength was better, aging had almost completely stopped. Hydra also must’ve recently taken him out of Cryo, considering their actions over the two years had been up and down a lot. 

Rhodey had decided that everyone would have a chance to try to talk to Tony, including Steve and Bucky together. Over the two years, Rhodey and Steve had many fights about Tony but eventually he forgave Steve and Steve apologized in return. Steve was surprised that Rhodey hadn’t started yelling at him or Bucky yet, but decided not to say anything too soon. Seeing what he saw now, clearly Tony had no memory of Pepper or Rhodey in general, which broke the couple’s heart completely.  


Steve didn’t notice Rhodey coming up behind him, tapping on the shoulder, making Steve jump slightly before turning his head towards Rhodey. “Hey, it’s uh time for you and Bucky to go in.”

“But what about the others?” Rhodey just rolled his eyes at Steve before gesturing to Bucky to come over, “Steve, if anyone else goes in, he won’t talk. If you and Barnes go in, maybe he’ll talk more.” He patted Steve on the back before walking away, Bucky following Steve to the door. He looked at Bucky, before Bucky just rolled his eyes and shoved Steve further towards the door. Steve gently opened the door, in which Bucky just opened all the way. They both stood, watching Tony sitting in the same position, head bowed to the ground. He met their eyes, cocking his head to the side, as if inviting them to speak. Bucky was the first to come forward, standing in front of Tony before kneeling in front of him. 

“Aktiv?” That got Tony’s attention quickly, head snapping up towards Bucky, his eyes widening slightly. Bucky gently placed a hand on his cheek, tilting Tony’s head towards him. He looked back at Steve, who looked afraid to even move. Bucky rolled his eyes at the man, gesturing for the punk to just come over and interact with Tony, worst thing he could do was attack Steve, (actually that could happen.) Steve kneeled next to Bucky, looking at Bucky and then Tony.

...

The two men kneeling in front of the Asset made him want to talk, since one of them was the captain and the other was the original Winter Soldier. When the Soldier called him by his name, Asset, he wanted to move closer to the man. Something about their presence calmed him down, the voice in his head was saying that he should trust them. The Soldier had a hand on his cheek, while gesturing towards the captain to come over. The captain kneeled in front of the Asset, looking at him carefully while the Asset was looking at the Soldier instead.

“Zdravstvuy?” He cocked his head to the side, looking at them questiongly, not realizing his eyes were widening more. The Soldier smiled softly at the Asset, which made the Asset happier, someone could finally hear him. 

Meanwhile, Bucky and Steve’s hearts both cracked a little, Tony’s voice was quiet, quiet and broken. Only with their hearing could they actually hear what he was saying, and by the way it changed Tony’s mood, they were thankful for it. Tony reminded Steve of Bambi, his eyes widening at the way he was understood. Steve didn’t understand Russian but clearly Tony was trying to say hello back to Bucky, which made him wonder if Tony didn’t recognize the name, Tony. It seemed he only responded to the name, Asset, which made Steve a little scared at the moment. Shuri said physical contact might help Tony remember and it also might comfort him so Steve decided to do the only thing he was good at… hugs. He pulled Tony into a hug, squeezing him gently while Bucky smoothed over any hairs out of place on Tony’s head. 

The Asset didn’t know what to do when the captain pulled him towards him, squeezing him tightly while the Soldier ran a hand through his hair. He didn’t get physical contact that much, but the hands running through his hair and the strong arms around him made the Asset more relaxed. The Soldier placed his arms around the Asset’s waist, hands running slowly over his jutting hips. He nuzzled into the neck of the captain, inhaling his scent while the captain picked him up, taking him to the bed. He lay in the center of the bed, a blanket being pulled over him as his head was placed on a pillow. 

Steve and Bucky both watched and admired the way the man before them was laying. Steve had never seen pictures of Tony when he was young but seeing him like this now only made him prettier. The way his eyelashes fluttered, the toned muscles moving under his olive skin, and the way his hair was. Bucky moved behind Tony, his hand tracing Tony’s waist gently while Steve lay, facing Tony before moving in closer. Tony invited the actions, trying to figure out whether to move closer or move back between the two, so the soldiers just moved closer to him, plastering themselves to him. 

The Asset welcomed the warmth that was coming from both sides, feeling a metal hand move to under his head while another moved to his waist opposite. 

“Idi spat', kotenok,” the Soldier whispered to him quietly, pressing a soft kiss to the Asset’s spine before the Asset nodded, eyes closing again. Secretly though, the Asset wanted to stay awake, for there would only be memories of what he had done to return.

...

_He’s my friend._

_So was I… the Asset didn’t understand what was happening, but he knew that this memory was meant to be forgotten. The voice in his head was saying to forget, forget what happened because all was forgiven. There were more memories resurfacing though and the Asset didn’t know how to respond._

_They were… happy ones. But the Asset used the word too soon, for the other memories came back as well. The moment that he found out his handlers had surgically taken out some parts of his vocal cords. Originally, he was to have his lips sewn shut, hiding behind a mask for the rest of his time but his handlers had disagreed which is why the Asset couldn’t speak much anymore._

_If he did try to speak, it would only come out as a whisper, a whisper of someone broken, someone who used to be a person, who had a personality. The Asset wanted to be the person he was before, it was like he was underwater, slowing sinking further and further. He opened his mouth, yet nothing came out, and it made the Asset want to scream, scream loudly for anyone that could hear him._

Steve and Bucky were both asleep when Tony jerked forward, eyes wide with fear in them, mouth agape like he was screaming. There were tears falling from his beautiful eyes and looked like he was struggling to make a sound, any sound. Steve quickly sat up next to him, gently but cautiously wiping the tears away from the man’s eyes. The Asset tensed up before relaxing at the motion the captain was doing.

“Shh, it’s ok, you're ok.” He whispered over and over again while holding Tony, rocking them both back and forth. Tony looked up at Steve, his red-rimmed eyes looking at him, before carefully touching Steve’s cheekbone. “I remember you, S-Steve.” His whispery voice making Steve almost shiver at his words, “I’m so sorry Tony.” 

The Asset watched as the captain--Steve’s face changed, a look of sadness washing over him, why was the captain sad? He didn’t like the captain being sad, so quickly, he did the first thing that came to mind, which was to comfort the captain, Steve. He brushed away the tears before kissing Steve, clinging to him tightly, like Steve was a dream that could disappear in mere moments. The Asset pressed his lips to the captain, kissing him more, the warmth of his soft lips comforting him more. He didn’t realize that he was straddling Steve now, kissing him more and more, not wanting to let it go. The Asset’s hands met the headboard of the bed while kissing Steve, feeling his hands tighten around the Asset’s hips. 

Steve stood up, trying to ignore his growing erection while carrying Tony to the wall of the room, kissing him more and more. Tony clung to him, slender, muscular, legs wrapping around Steve’s waist loosely while Steve pulled his hands together and held them against the wall. They both panted heavily while Tony whimpered, trying to get closer and closer to Steve. Steve’s lips roamed down to his neck, kissing and nipping at his jaw as he went while Tony panted quietly against him. “I-I forgive you. Steve please.” Steve moved away from his neck, meeting Tony’s eyes, lips swollen from kissing him so much. 

“Why?” The Asset smiled at the captain’s confused face, his hand slipping from Steve’s grip, caressing his face gently, before fixing a hair stick out. “Because, Steve, what happened is in the past. It is simple and what happened to me is not your fault, it was mine to begin with.” If Steve was a regular person, he wouldn’t hear a single word Tony had just said, but he did. He also noted the way Tony spoke, a Russian accent replacing what his voice used to be. 

“But it wasn’t just your fault, it was mine to start with… Tony, I should’ve never left you behind. I should---” Tony shut him up by placing a finger to his lips, shushing him quietly, “my dear, let’s not dwell on the past. There’s a voice in my head saying I shouldn’t forgive you but I do.” 

“Do you mean it? Honestly?” Steve looked at his eyes, searching for any lie or doubt in saying those words but there weren’t any. Tony only shook his head, kissing Steve’s forehead before Steve let him down slowly. He stood on his tippy toes to kiss Steve’s lips one final time before looking back at Bucky. The Asset finally understood what that voice was, it was him along but as a different person, a different personality that was jumpier and frantic. The Asset was no longer _the Asset_ , he was Tony. But he still felt like that name didn’t quite fit who he used to be but there was time for that later. 

“Kotenok, come here…” Tony walked towards the Soldier--Bucky before crawling on the bed towards him, reminding Bucky of a cat. Bucky sat up, his metal hand interlacing with Tony’s metal hand, kissing the top of it before looking at Tony. He was about to open his mouth when Tony stopped him with a finger to the lips like Steve, and shaking his head. “Moya zima, ya tebya proshchayu.” Kissing Bucky’s nose, smiling softly at the crimson red spreading on Bucky’s cheeks. 

“I don’t like the name Tony, I want to be called something else…” He stood up, stretching his back, while feeling two pairs of eyes on him, watching intently. Bucky was quite enjoying the way Tony’s back arched, showing off his narrow hips that jutted out just right while Steve loved the way Tony looked at peace. The two soldiers made their way towards Tony, meeting him halfway and kissing him on the cheek. “Hmm, what about Antoshka, Kotenok?” He hummed at the name, liking the way it rolled off of Bucky’s tongue softly. He would still refer to himself as Tony but Antoshka sounded more fitting now, because he was no longer the Tony from before. 

“Yes, I like that very much, Zima.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations for this chapter
> 
> Ya proshu proshcheniya - I am sorry  
> Ya ikh pomnyu, ya pomnyu ikh vsekh - I remember them, I remember them all  
> Vy budete v poryadke - You will be fine  
> Soldat - Soldier  
> Missiya zavershena - Mission complete  
> Ya v poryadke - I'm fine  
> Aktiv - Asset  
> Zdravstvuy - Hi  
> Idi spat', kotenok - Go to sleep, kitten/kitty  
> Kotenok - Kitten/kitty  
> Moya zima, ya tebya proshchayu - My winter, I forgive you  
> Zima - Winter


	3. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Warning*:Depictions of blood and an unauthorized but consented procedure done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tony considers the Asset to be an entirely different person, so they share a body now, just like Winter and Bucky would've.

Some of his memories slowly started coming back and most of the time, Tony didn’t know what to do with what came back. But he decided to just accept what came through while he was recovering, Tony didn’t mention the trigger words yet to anyone. He knew the Soldier--Bucky suspected but hadn’t said anything yet to the captain or the others. They still kept him in the room, but he was free to walk out whenever he liked or wanted to. But the Asset in him telling him it was tricks, or a game of cat and mouse, Tony tried to ignore that part. 

Today would be the first time that Tony would go outside of the room, and he wouldn’t lie that he liked staying inside the room. At first he thought it was an imprisonment, but now it was a safehaven to him, which made Tony wonder if he should leave. He checked the clock as it read _14:30_ , and slowly cracked open the door a little. He felt like he was wearing something too gloomy though, considering it was just a black sweatshirt and black tight fitted jeans with “white converse high tops,” as Steve put it. He wasn’t used to all the freedom that was given, considering he didn’t have much at Hydra; it was quiet as he opened the door wider, looking around. 

He disappeared into the shadows while the Avengers were alerted of Tony being outside of the room for once. Steve and Bucky both looked at each other, not sure whether to feel content or slightly frightened. They hoped that Tony would come out, but hoped that he didn’t feel overwhelmed over seeing more than two people. They both warned the group that Tony’s voice was very whispery, so they would have to pay attention more in order to hear him speak. What they weren’t expecting though was the sudden appearance of Tony coming out of nowhere, not saying anything at all but just staring at them curiously. Of course, the first person to notice was Bucky, gesturing for Tony to come over, which Tony did but carefully, almost tiptoeing towards Bucky. Doing that only made the rest of the group jump, including Natasha, while Clint laughed at her.  


Tony cocked his head to the side, analyzing each one of them before gently placing himself on the couch. Steve pulled him closer until he practically laid on him, laying in between his legs, feet resting in Bucky’s lap. Bucky carefully unlaced the shoes before throwing them to the ground, placing Tony’s feet back in his lap. Natasha walked over to them, smiling gently at Tony, who’s head popped up from Steve’s chest, “Kak u vas segodnya dela?” Petting his hair softly, Natasha could swear to any god out there that if Tony wasn’t human, he would be purring at the motions. 

“Ustalyy…,” mumbling it before hiding in the crook of Steve’s neck, snuggling closer to the supersoldier’s warmth. Even though Tony had the serum now, his body temperature was the complete opposite of Steve and Bucky’s, he was cold most of the time. Even in hot climates like Wakanda, he was cold, fingertips slightly blue. She notices right away how he is slightly shaking and moves to get a blanket quickly, snatching a blanket from Clint and going back, ignoring the archer’s squawk of protest. She puts the blanket on top of Tony, tucking in any loose ends while kissing the top of Tony’s head softly. Hearing his voice properly this time made Natasha glad she was paying attention to the warning Steve and Bucky had given them and it seemed to make Tony feel better. 

They had mentioned the way he reacted when he spoke to them, waiting for Steve or Bucky to speak first before answering. In the coming weeks, the soldiers had tried to have Tony speak first but Hydra must have it engraved into his head that he shouldn’t speak first. But they did notice that being able to hear and understand Tony made him happier, more confident. Today, since Tony was finally outside of the room for the first time, Shuri planned on doing an evaluation of him, see if there were any problems he was having. Natasha already knew though that there were definitely going to be bumps in the road, considering the way they went with Bucky’s recovery. She just hoped it would be easier to understand this time.

...

Tony sat on the examining table, swinging his legs back and forth while waiting for the doctor-- Bruce, to come in. He wasn’t too sure whether or not he wanted to disappear, the way Steve and Bucky described it seemed harmless to Tony. Bruce walked in with a clipboard, offering a reassuring smile to Tony before asking him questions about his health. Hydra had done this countless times and Tony learned over time to answer neutrally as possible. Which probably wasn’t the best idea but he did it anyway, the doctor only listening while writing notes down. He checked his blood pressure, made sure his heart was beating and checked over the reactor before leaving.

The Asset inside him was screaming to come out, leave without a trace and go back to the room but Tony ignored it. He saw the same girl he met the first time he was at the palace come in, smiling brightly at him. “Ah, hello, again. I’m glad we can meet under better circumstances this time.” He only nodded at her, giving a small smile back towards her, “so, Tony, I am here to give you an evaluation, see if we can fix or improve anything. My name is Shuri, I am the princess of Wakanda.”

He bowed his head towards her before she walked over, placing a few things next him. “First, I would like for you to talk. The only way I can learn more is if you talk.” He chewed on his lip when he heard those words, before opening his mouth, “ok.” 

“See, that was easy. Now, can you raise your voice higher.” Tony looked at her confusingly, her heavy accent throwing him off slightly, before she motioned to go higher. “Just say anything, like Hello or your name even.” 

“Hello--” It came out strangled almost and Tony fought back the urge to cough, he had not used his voice properly in a long time. “Ok, that’s great, but when you talk, can you do it without wanting to cough or stop.” 

“Hello, my name is--” Shuri winced at the way his voice cracked audibly, though his voice was successfully a higher octave now. She cautiously pressed her hands against his cold skin, feeling around his throat before pressing down. Tony jerked away from her, no noise came out but he gave her a look of protest, “sorry, I know it hurts but in order to help you, I have to see what I can do.” He only nodded before closer to her hands, feeling her press against his trachea. Her hands massaged his throat gently, trying to avoid using too much pressure on his throat. “So it seems that they took out parts of your vocal cords, from both sides, yes?” He only nodded before she continued, “I’m going to have to run an X-ray of your throat, just to make sure. Is that ok?”

“Yes.” She continued the exam, touching the arm and checking the plating before moving onto other parts of his body like the reactor. Finishing that part, Shuri looked at him seriously, “Mr. Stark, you are aware of Sergeant Barnes’ experience with Hydra before, yes?”

“Yes.” She put her notebook down, looking at him softly, “then you know what I’m about to ask?”  
“Yes…,” he looked away from her, staring straight at the wall behind her, “Do you have trigger words? If so, you must tell me in order for us to get rid of them permanently.” He swallowed before looking at Shuri, straightening himself, “t-there is a book, a book that is in the Hydra Base. I killed everyone there when I was released. I do not know the trigger words, they make sure I forget them.” 

“Can you tell me where this Hydra Base is?”

“It’s in Scotland the day I was released.” She scribbled down the location before smiling at Tony, “ok, thank you. Now, let’s go get that X-ray.” Shuri gestured for him to follow her, and for once, Tony was happy he had something to follow, he was given a task finally. They walked down a hallway, where there were nurses and doctors chatting and talking to patients. Suddenly Tony stopped walking, everything going dizzy for a second. 

_They shoved him into a wheelchair, muzzling him immediately and tightening the straps on his wrists tightly. He could hear laughter in the distance, murmuring and talking as he wheeled past the noise. He saw a flash of silver hair before it passed him so suddenly, Tony wasn’t sure if it was real._

_Smotri vpered, soldat!_

Tony jumped when there was a hand on his shoulder, flinching slightly when Shuri held her hands up cautionaly. “Come along, it’s not too far from here now.” He wondered if she knew what happened or chose to ignore it altogether, but decided not to question it. He followed her to a room, following Shuri’s instructions as he laid down on top of the table. She left the room, leaving Tony to his thoughts, hearing the Asset whisper Russian words in his head while there were sounds of clicking. Five minutes later, Shuri came back in, smiling softly at him again as they left the room and walked back into the examination room. 

“So it seems that Hydra has installed a device into your throat, near the last parts of your vocal cords and larynx. Its’ purpose was meant to completely silence you if you ever tried to speak again…” She trailed off, looking at Tony with concern, who wasn’t sure on how to react to what he was told. This was the only way Hydra would be able to silence him if he ever tried to speak, it was like taking away one freedom after the next. “Can you remove it?” Shuri bit her lip for a second, thinking of the proper answer, slightly shivering at the way his whispery voice asked. “Yes, but I must warn you, I will need time to figure out the proper procedure to take it out without damaging what’s left of your vocal cords. The only way you could really destroy the vocal cords is if you raise your voice higher octaves. So for now, Mr. Stark, Tony, I would recommend that you be gentle.”

...

It was dinner time when someone said the first trigger word, and he didn’t realize it. But the Asset inside him was warning him to leave, before anyone got hurt. He thought he could control it, they had just gotten back to the States, back in Upstate New York, at the Compound. It was just the Avengers gathered around, laughing and having dinner. Tony was eating when it first happened.

“Clint! You idiot!” Someone had shrieked, throwing food across the table at Clint, who just laughed in return. “Jeez, Clint, I thought you were smart enough not to say that.” Tony slightly jerked upright, his positioning straightened up quickly. He tried inhaling through his nose, but his chest was rising up and down too fast for his liking. The Asset was warning Tony then, his metal arm gripping the table harshly, almost bending it. “May I have the salad please?” The laughing was fading away from Tony, all he could hear was his own hard breathing, he felt like he was slipping back into the Asset. 

He quickly got up, but not enough to catch anyone’s attention, Tony swiftly walked out of the kitchen, down the hallway. His heartbeat was pounding loudly in his ear, the Asset whispering words into his head, making Tony clutch his head. The pain was searing through him again, he collapsed to the ground, falling onto his knees, feeling himself being pulled away. The Asset giggled quietly, laughing at Tony’s naive thoughts, _he couldn’t control it_. The Asset stood in his place, looking around the hallway before walking outside. The Asset could hear Tony’s thoughts in the back of his head, _do not scream, we will lose our voice_. The Asset looked around, observing the area before looking for something, something _sharp_ , he knew what he needed to do. 

The Asset walked across the lawn, to another building where he saw a lab with equipment. He walked in, being recognized immediately by security but was let in anyways, looking around the lab for a knife or something. Tony watched inside his eyes, not liking where the Asset was going with this idea of his, but didn’t do anything to stop him. The Asset found a scalpel, and some cotton, before facing a small mirror, rubbing his throat with alcohol. Tony could only watch what was being done to _their_ body, their hands shaking as the Asset made the first slice. Tony and the Asset both knew that their healing factor would only make this more difficult, the only way to do it was to be quick. The Asset quickly sliced through completely, they choked on blood, causing the Asset to almost drop the scalpel entirely. The metal arm was shaking, the sounds of rattling loudly echoing in the room while Tony used his left hand to stop the shaking. 

The metal hand dug into the throat, past the trachea, down to where the vocal cords were. His slender finger touched the device before something was set off. Touching it only made it worse, the minute the Asset’s hand touched it, that sent the device off completely. He dropped to his knees, feeling the skin around his throat heal quickly, the device spreading inside of him, making them both struggle. In the mirror, Tony and the Asset could both see their throat start to turn purple, making it harder to swallow, and breathe. 

_Why did you do that._

_It was the only way._ Tony wanted to scream, but nothing came out of his throat, tears threatening to come out, while the device inside him spread. The Asset took over again, standing on his knees, and shoving the metal hand down their throat quickly. He gagged more when the Asset’s hand touched the device, hooking his finger in and pulling, Tony’s left hand jerking to hold onto his right one tightly. He could feel the device being moved though, while the Asset’s hand slowly retracted, bringing the device up his throat and out of their mouth. There was blood and spittle covering the device but its’ wiring clung onto their fingers. 

The Asset could only smile for a mere second before coughing up more blood, the purple and blue bruises forming rapidly. He ran to the bathroom, trying to figure out what the problem was now, the device was gone, why was this happening. The Asset stopped moving though, letting his arms fall to his sides, looking into the mirror. Tony was frantically panicking in their head but the Asset physically shook his head. “Uspokoysya, Antoshka…,” he said, their voice was still whispery but Tony mentall relaxed, at least they wouldn’t lose their voice entirely. The Asset decided to finally let Tony take control, which he gladly did, sliding against the door of the bathroom. His voice was breaking, his gasps and pants sounded like wheezing but he realized the Asset was correct. Even if Shuri did figure out a way to get it out, the Asset was able to do it quickly without killing them. 

But the trigger words were still there, and Tony and the Asset both knew that they would have to find a way to destroy those words. Get them out of their head completely before anyone is hurt. He touched his throat, visibly wincing at the way it looked and felt, it was purple and red, swollen now. Tony wished that the Asset had done this in a less painful way but it was over now. He slowly got up, shaky hands moving to the door knob, as blood dripped from his mouth mixed with saliva. Opening the door, Tony walked on his hands and knees, leaving behind a trail of blood as crawled along the floor. Using the table as a hand, Tony pushed himself up, grunting before regretting even making that sound. 

He walked slowly to the door, trying to swallow like his throat was dry, struggling to not bump into anything on the way back. Tony made it though, struggling while tears fell down his face, the device digging into his flesh palm as he held it tightly. The Asset was whispering again in his head, making Tony frown as he continued to walk, making it outside finally. “Prodolzhay idti, my pochti tam,” the Asset whispered, making Tony rolled his eyes, “says the one who shoved their hand down our throat.” It hurt to speak but it was worth the eye roll the Asset gave him in return, the words barely making it out. Tony noticed how it was darker outside, which made it easier for him to disappear completely, the Asset silently agreeing with him.

...

_The Asset sat in the chair, looking straight ahead as his handlers were talking about the next mission. He waited quietly, hearing the whirring of the machine coming to life, while the Asset waited patiently. He tried not to bite his lip or move, the guard being pushed into his mouth slightly helping._

_His body seized forward as the electroshocks started, sending pain through his head over and over again. The Asset arched off of the seat, biting hard on the guard while the pain increased. It slowly decreased seconds later, his handler standing in front of him with a book._

_Inzhener.  
Zhelezo. The Asset thrashed against his restraints, trying hard to turn away from the words. Umnyy.  
Poslushaniye.  
The Asset was shoved into the chair, his mask pressed firmly against his mouth and nose, making him squirm._

_Sibir’.  
May.  
The mask clicked into place, the Asset turned quiet, head bowed down, while the last word was spoken.  
Dvadtsat' devyat'. _

_Dobroye utro, Soldat. His handler smiled at him, the Asset looked up at him, lips moving quietly, gotov podchinit'sya._

Tony’s head pounded, screwing his eyes shut before opening them again, looking around. He slowly got up, in time to notice that there was long grass surrounding him, the sounds of the ocean in the distance. He noticed the sign immediately, and he knew exactly where he was, only him and the Asset would know. They were back in Scotland, back at the Hydra Base. The Asset must’ve brought them here, though Tony didn’t exactly know why, but they needed to find one thing: the book. The problem was that they didn’t have a phone with them, only the clothes from yesterday or whatever day it was. Tony let the Asset take control, watching intently from their eyes as they walked. 

The Asset walked into a small village that was outside the base, nodding towards the people who lived there. At least they had money, not Scottish notes but they could exchange it; pulling his hood up, the Asset walked closely until he got to a bank, murmuring quietly to the clerks man before they handed him pound sterling. It was enough that they could buy a ride here, but he knew that he couldn’t take a car, that is until he spotted an abandoned motorcycle. Quickly, the Asset walked to the motorcycle, checking it over before turning it on, the sound slightly calming the Asset and Tony both down. Getting on it, he sped onto a grassy field, speeding up when he saw the empty base appearing in the distance. 

The Asset stopped the motorcycle completely, standing in front of the abandoned base, the door was still open when he left. Slowly walking through the open door, the Asset gagged at the smell of rotting flesh and dried blood floating in the air, swatting away flies as he went. The hallways made the Asset want to destroy them, scrape the dried paint off the walls and cover the bullet holes. He perked up though, hearing a banging sound repeatedly against a steel door, the one door his handlers made sure he avoided. Grabbing the small knife he had in his sneaker, the Asset edged closer and closer to the door, slowly opening the heavy door. Sitting there on the floor was a young man, silver hair hiding his eyes before moving at speed the Asset almost missed. 

The man was fast, faster than humanly possible, grabbing the Asset by shoulders, pushing him against the wall of the cell. “Where am I?” The voice sounded faintly familiar, the Asset recognized the accent though, Sokovian. 

“You were part of Hydra but Hydra is gone… now.” The Asset’s english wasn’t very good but with Tony’s help, he was learning. Pulling his hood down, the Asset cocked his head to the side, “what i-is your name?” 

“Pietro, Pietro Maximoff. What are you doing here Stark?” Before the Asset can say something, Tony pulls him away, taking control and looking at Pietro, “it is a long story, I have to find something here.” Continuing down the hallway, the Asset and Tony could hear Pietro following them, looking back and forth between the bodies on the ground and the blood smeared on the walls. “Don’t worry, I killed them all a long time ago, I didn’t know you were here though.” He was pretty sure the young speeder had to move closer to hear what he was saying as they walked, ignoring the slight breeze the Asset felt when the speeder ran back and forth. 

“Wow, you really killed them all. Why?”

“I needed to in order to escape. They released me for a mission.” Pietro looked at him skeptically before nodding in agreement, racing ahead of the Asset to look in the next room. He came back a minute later, holding the book in his hand, “this what you're looking for?” The Asset nodded before Pietro handed it to him, flipping through the pages to the trigger words themselves. There they were, in nice, clean cursive, the words that could destroy him in seconds. 

But Tony knew exactly what to do with those words.

...

They both made it back discreetly, only taking a day and a half to get back home, to the compound. Tony’s throat was still bruised, and he accepted that his voice would forever be like a whisper and he was ok with it. The Asset was ok with it too, but that would mean they had to be more gentle, they couldn’t yell as much. They both knew that the princess would kill them for doing this without the proper procedure. They arrived by taxi to the Compound, Pietro looked at him suspiciously, before walking with him to the first building. Inside they could see all the Avengers huddled around holograms, maps and camera footage being shown. Tony realized his poor boys were probably worried sick about him, but they were fine, _mostly_.

Wanda’s eyes met Tony’s before widening more, seeing Pietro standing next to him. She ran over, pulling Pietro into a hug, crying as she held her brother again. Tony awkwardly walked to the side before hands greeted his body, one pair wrapping around his underarms, the other pair around his waist. Bucky looked at him concerningly, while Steve peppered light kisses on the side of his neck from behind. Bucky’s hands grazed his throat, pressing on the tender area, making him jerk back a little into Steve. “Ah, ah, ah, none of that Antonshka, you gave us quite a scare. Friday pulled up the footage, it was like watching a horror movie.” 

Tony smiled softly, while Bucky smirked, kissing him on the lips, Steve moving to stand next to him. “You scared me,” shaking his head at Tony before pulling him into his arms, nuzzling Steve’s neck softly as he was squeezed. “I...I--” his voice cracked loudly, as Steve and Bucky looked at him worriedly, squeezing his hands tightly, “found something. T...the tr...igger words.” Gently pulling the medium sized book from a backpack, Tony handed it to them, watching as Bucky’s hands started shaking slightly. Bucky opened the book first, reading each word over again in his head, Hydra was stupid enough to make Tony’s birthday into trigger words. 

He tugged Steve in his direction, making the man look down, reading the words over. They ruined the most basic words anyone could say without knowing it. Iron, engineer, may, _smart_. They both looked to Tony, who was looking at them anxiously. Bucky pulled him in for another kiss before Steve did the same, “don’t worry, Kotenok, we’ll get those words outta your head. I promise.” He kissed Tony’s forehead one last time before they brought him down to the medical bay to get checked by Bruce. 

It would be difficult, but the three of them were ready, even if the road would be bumpy along the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Russian translations:  
> Kak u vas segodnya dela - How are you today  
> Ustalyy - tired  
> Smotri vpered, soldat - Look ahead, Soldier  
> Uspokoysya - Take it easy  
> Prodolzhay idti, my pochti tam - Keep walking, we're almost there  
> Dobroye utro, Soldat - Good morning, Soldat  
> Kotenok - Kitty/kitten


End file.
